After my mother developed dementia and my father booted me from his life, I felt like a geriatric orphan, abandoned by both parents in my own very adult years. For months shock, devastation and pain put my life in freeze-frame. I suffered financial, emotional and social losses. When the daze finally cleared, part of my personal therapy took the form of researching what I thought was my bizarre situation.

Parental rejection of adult children is not as rare as I thought. Because many children who are rejected or tormented by ornery elderly parents keep it to themselves, this is an under-reported facet of eldercare, one that will escalate as the population ages. I discovered another under-reported phenomenon, that of the toxic ager. Some of our parents’ late life rejection and difficult behavior results from toxic aging.

I found plenty of information on eldercare but none of it addressed the problems faced by estranged adult children and little of it applied to children with supremely difficult parents. Dealing with eldercare while helping ourselves through the trauma of parental rejection as we approach our own senior moments poses special challenges (I love a good euphemism).

I am a writer who knows the healing value of writing, so producing a book was a natural response. Writing about all I learned helped me deal with this tragic situation. As I met an increasing number of geriatric orphans, I realized the information I gathered could benefit many others.

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Why an Ebook?

So many geriatric orphans I met in my research and self-help journey asked me when the book would be available that I didn't want to wait for a publisher to recognize the market potential of the growing geriatric orphan population. I decided to present it economically and quickly. Only the ebook format can deliver those benefits.

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What You'll Learn

When the Old Block Chips, using experts' opinions and real-life anecdotes, and with a hint of humor and irreverence, will show you, in part:

*How to cope with late-life parental rejection.
*How to care for yourself and why it's important that you do.
*Legal rights and recourses for you and your parents.
*Potential financial implications of estrangement.
*How to deal with your parents' doctors.
*Ways to communicate in a strained or broken relationship.
*How to avoid being a difficult ager to your children.
*What emotional and fiscal vulnerabilities to watch for.

Plus these bonus features:
- Toxicity Assessment Check List.
- Self-Assessment Toxicity Indicator.
- Dozens of resources to help you and your parents.
- Chapter summaries.

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Table of Contents

When the Old Block Chips

  1 - Dodging the Falling Chips: Dealing with Rejection
  2 - Picking up the Pieces: Putting Yourself First
  3 - Defending Against Ongoing Chip Assaults: Sharing Your Pain
  4 - Turning Old Block Chips to Blue Chips: Rethinking Your

Financial Future
  5 - Rebuilding the Old Block: Helping without Cooperation
  6 - Chipped Blocks and the Law: Elder Law Basics
  7 - When the Health Care Block Chips: Dealing with Doctors
  8 - Ambushing the Rage: Communicating with Difficult Old Blocks
  9 - Keeping Your Own Block from Chipping: Survival Tactics
10 - Resources

Appendix Material:

*Toxicity Assessment Check List
*Self-assessment Toxicity Indicator
*Indications of Possible Elder Abuse
*Questions to Ask Doctors
*Tips for Selecting and Working with Attorneys
*Self-Affirmations
*Glossary

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Endorsements

Comments from experts in various areas of aging family dynamics:

“Emotional, legal and financial issues can overwhelm adult children when their challenging elderly parents need but resist care. Carol’s survival guide presents creative solutions for managing difficult elders, and reveals a realistic look at a faulty eldercare system.”- Jacqueline Marcell, author of Elder Rage and host of “Coping with Caregiving” Internet radio program.

“As our society ages, care of an elderly parent is rapidly becoming the most trying issue for adult children for many reasons. . . .Carol Celeste has addressed one aspect of this aging problem—the estranged adult child trying to care for a parent who is both in denial about needing care and openly resentful of the adult child’s efforts and offers a humorous, yet insightful discussion of the issues and problems confronted by all.”- Edward J. Carnot, Attorney and author of Is Your Parent in Good Hands?

“We all want to believe that aging parents are sweet and loveable. Consequently, when an incessant pattern of verbal and emotional abuse occurs, it becomes toxic—a hidden phenomenon—devastating to families. I am deeply grateful to Carol for using her personal experience and knowledge to help bring this concealed time bomb into public awareness.” - Gloria Davenport, Ph.D. and author of Working with Toxic Older Adults.

“This book presents an insightful description of toxic relationships with aging parents. With a touch of humor, Celeste guides adult children to maintain their sanity by taking care of themselves and seeking professional help when necessary.”- Donna Minor, LCSW

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About the Author

Carol Celeste is a California-based award-winning freelance writer and editor, syndicated eldercare columnist and recovering geriatric orphan. Her work covers a range of topics, including travel and business. She branched into eldercare and caregiver well-being when she became a caregiver and geriatric orphan several years ago. She operates Writing to Heal, Writing to Grow^sm online personal and therapeutic writing courses and licenses a variety of therapeutic writing programs, including a program for personal caregivers. Reach Carol at familyeldercare@juno.com or carol@writingtoheal.com.

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